Nostolgia

thisheather@gmail.com (Heather Gemmen Wilson) — Mon, 15 Feb 2010 17:30:00 +0000

When my son Chad was little, he said the cutest things. He once asked why his bald grandpa had "blind hair." Another time he put his sleeve up to his cheek after I kissed him and said, "Don't worry, Mom, I'm wiping off the wet, not the kiss."

I miss that little boy. What I would give to pull him in my lap and squeeze him.

Sometimes I go through old photographs or watch home videos of Chad and get a little choked up. Not because Chad is gone—he's living right here in my house with me—but because he's grown up now, a handsome young man of 19, and I hope to God I've done my job well.

I always knew that parenting was working myself out of a job, helping my kids to become independent and self-sufficient; but I didn't know how much it would hurt.

Dreamy Words

thisheather@gmail.com (Heather Gemmen Wilson) — Sat, 13 Feb 2010 13:46:00 +0000

He reached for my hand and pulled me to himself. "I love you, baby," he said. "You know that, right?" I smiled and kissed his forehead, but he put both hands on my face and stared intently into my eyes. "I mean it," he said. "You are the perfect woman, and I would be lost without you."

Those dreamy words are exactly what every woman longs to hear, and my husband actually said them.

To be fair, I should mention that he was in a drug-induced state at the time, just hours after undergoing surgery. I should probably relate the rest of the story as well. Moments later, when I changed his oozing, sticky bandage, he yelped like a banshee. Our culture promotes a chick-flick view of romance that would have us believe the man’s role is to spout dreamy words on demand and to be helpless to resist us even when we’re snarky. It’s a view of romance in which there are no oozy bandages and in which the man exists only to meet the woman’s every need.

Take this poem, for instance (by Colin Martin) which is quoted on social networking sites as if it were scripture.

Find a man who calls you beautiful instead of hot,
Who calls you back when you hang up on him,
Who will ... stay awake just to watch you sleep...
Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats.

Does such a person exist? Yes, but it’s more likely to be your best girlfriend than your husband. As for me, I want a real man, even if it takes a little Percoset to make him gushy.

Listen, you’ll never find love if you’re looking for romance. You'll find romance. Maybe.

If you want love, don't pursue it. Simply be loving. In other words, put his needs before your own. It may sound old-fashioned, but a good wife dotes on her man, builds him up, and yes, even tries to look good for him. (A good husband does the same thing, but that's not our business.) And we shouldn't be surprised to discover that by submitting (yikes! I said it!), we gain so much more than we lose. That's typical in the kingdom of God.

I used to demand love, and I lost it entirely. Now I give love, and I get back more than I dreamed possible. You can do the same. Take a risk. Trust God. Love! Let God worry about what comes next.

"If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers—most of which are never even seen—don't you think he'll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I'm trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God's giving. People who don't know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don't worry about missing out. You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met." —Matthew 6:33, The Message

Bliss

thisheather@gmail.com (Heather Gemmen Wilson) — Wed, 06 Jan 2010 14:43:00 +0000

I'm an ENFP, which means I'm supposed to be the life of the party.

But I don't always feel outgoing and optimistic.

I'm still confident in the sovereignty of God and know that "it'll all work out," and I'm still certainly a people-lover—but I don't always feel as exuberant as I did when I was young(er).

A friend of mine who knows all things Myers-Briggs says it's because I've been tempered by life's circumstances and have become more balanced. I'm still an ENFP, just softer around the edges. (I don't think she was referring to my BMI.)

But I'd rather be extremely happy than moderately wise.

No wonder they say ignorance is bliss.

I Like People

thisheather@gmail.com (Heather Gemmen Wilson) — Sun, 03 Jan 2010 01:23:00 +0000

Hecklers. You find them everywhere.

I was doing a 5K with my family—walking fast, but certainly without any intention of racing—when I heard a guy yelling out to the participants. He was standing on his front porch, grinning.

"Is the race over?" he called out. "Is that why you're walking? If you walk any slower you'll be going backwards! I got out of bed for this parade? Where's my candy?"

His friendly heckling drew lots of laughter, and warmed the mood of cluster of racers around us.

And he wasn't the only one creating camaraderie on that morning. Other spectators stood alongside the road, yelling out, "You can do it! Keep it up!" One family placed huge speakers on their driveway and blared out upbeat music as they handed out cups of water.

Once, when a particularly enthusiastic spectator began jogging beside a discouraged racer and then other racers slowed down to support him, my step-daughter and I looked at each other and said at the same time, "I like people."

Just a few moments later, however, the mood changed drastically. A woman drove her car for about 100 yards (very slowly) on the race course to make it from the main road to her driveway.

These same people who had been singing kum-bah-ya together (well, not literally) as we walked shoulder-to-shoulder for the great cause of feeding the homeless began yelling obscenities at her and rushing at the car. So much for the holiday spirit.

The woman who drove on the race course was ill-mannered, to be sure; but the crowd's lack of grace struck me as even worse. Our camaraderie suddenly felt meaningless and hollow because acceptance was clearly conditional. "If you're one of us, we'll love you," the message warned, "but if you get in our way beware."

Jesus said, "Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that?"*

We need grace in our society, but grace is more than harnessing road rage. It goes beyond getting off the cell phone when checking out at the cash register. It's not just donating money to a good cause.

Jesus calls us to love, and he calls us to love those who are not easy to love. To do that—to be gracious people—we must engage others authentically. We must attempt to see situations from the perspective of others, putting our own agendas aside. And we must humble ourselves.

I'd like to add a Dayspring ending here, to say that the woman's car broke down and everyone teamed up to push her car into her driveway...or something heartwarming like that. But the crowd moved forward and the little interruption was forgotten.

My step-daughter still likes people, and thousands of dollars were raised to feed the hungry in Indianapolis. and I'll choose to love not only the woman in the car, but my fellow racers who weren't so lovely.

Who wants to join me in spreading a little grace this year?

Leave a comment on the DaySpring blog.

LOL Devotions

thisheather@gmail.com (Heather Gemmen Wilson) — Sun, 22 Nov 2009 13:18:00 +0000

Normally I'm a proper and dignified mother. Really.

I've even been known to serve brussel sprouts to my family. I may not be president of the Parent-Teacher Association, but I do show up for parent-teacher conferences. I may not diligently nag my kids to floss their teeth, but I do take them to the dentist.

I'm not supermom, but I pretty much have things under control.

Usually.

I think that's why everyone was so surprised when it happened:

We had finished dinner and I turned to Hosea 3. We'd read chapters 1 and 2 the nights before, and you'd think the outburst would have happened then, while reading about the sensitive topic of adultery—and it would have been immature teenagers who got out of line. But it was the raisin cakes that got me.

"The LORD said to me, 'Go, show your love to your wife again, though she is loved by another and is an adulteress. Love her as the LORD loves the Israelites, though they turn to other gods and love the sacred raisin cakes.'"

I started laughing. When I tried to explain what was so funny, I realized I simply had no explanation, and so began laughing even more. "Sacred raisin cakes!" is all I managed to sputter. The kids smiled a little, and looked at my husband to see if he were secretly dialing for help from strong men in white coats.

Read More

Words

thisheather@gmail.com (Heather Gemmen Wilson) — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 16:47:00 +0000

Words matter. What we say and read and hear affects our beliefs and attitudes and behavior. That's why I tell my fellow twits, "You are what you tweet," and why one of my favorite quotes is, "Words are a form of action, capable of influencing change."*

We can't just say the right words though; we have to get our heart right so the positive words will come naturally. ("Out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks."*)

We can't just happen upon the right words to read; we have to seek out material that will challenge us and inspire us. (I highly recommend the Bible. It is full of the most exciting, challenging, inspiring, helpful, interesting, life-giving words you'll ever find. Seriously.)

We can't just tune out destructive words; we have to avoid them. (That may mean turning off some music and not watching some shows; it may even mean changing friendship circles.)

A big fad lately is to use word art to decorate walls. I love that idea! (Out of the overflow of the heart, the walls speak?) My latest home decor purchase is word art. (Actually, it was another gift from DaySpring). Larry and I carefully selected the words that best reflected the passion of our hearts. It's a wonderful reminder for us to persevere no matter what the circumstances.

What words have affected you?

Look, Mom!

thisheather@gmail.com (Heather Gemmen Wilson) — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 16:39:00 +0000

First I made my own earrings and necklace (long story), and now I made my own Christmas cards. I'm getting to be a regular artist. Not bad for someone who can't draw stick figures. I admit I'm not quite as talented as some of you who make your own cards by cutting out paper and using beautiful handwriting, but this is a pretty good step for me.

As a blogger for (in)Courage (a division of DaySpring), I was given the opportunity to design my own Christmas card at an incredible savings (okay ... free!). It was so much fun! A bit addicting, actually. There are so many beautiful designs and fun clip art to choose from.

Here's the good news for you, besides the fact that you might get a pretty card from us this Christmas*: You can do it too! DaySpring is offering my readers a coupon for 15% off your purchase with coupon code: CHILDREN15 (expires Dec 7).

The BEST part is that 6% of the sale goes to COMPASSION automatically!

Check it out at www.studiodayspring.com.

*disclaimer: we send cards only to people who do not live nearby us (or to people we can tweet)

Newlyweds

thisheather@gmail.com (Heather Gemmen Wilson) — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 11:22:00 +0000

I woke up early this morning. A silent house in the wee hours feels sacred somehow, doesn't it? Usually I'm scrambling to get my Bible study homework done between chaotic moments (and it's amazing how God speaks even then), but this morning I took a bit more time to soak it up.

This week's unit is about knowing God's will as a church, and I just had to share this profound thought with you:

"When God speaks to people about the church, they should relate to the body what they sense God is saying. As members tell what God is saying, the whole church body goes to God in prayer to discern His will. In His timing God confirms to the body what He is saying. Individual opinions are not that important. God's will is crucial. No single method can be given for discerning God's will as a body. Pastors, other church leaders, and members are to have such deep relationships with God and the church body that spiritual guidance is the outcome. When Christ guides each spiritual leader and member of the body to function properly, the whole body knows and is enabled to do God's will." (Henry Blackaby, Experiencing God.)

I love the church. (That includes Fall Creek, of course, but I'm speaking about the church universal here.) I find it thrilling to be joining others as the Bride of Christ. Larry and I often say that we still feel like newlyweds because we're so crazy about each other; and that's how I feel about the church too. It's exciting to be in a love relationship that is healthy and strong and life-giving. When we are a church united in our desire to know and act on God's will, we are in the most beautiful love relationship of all.

I think I'll change my ring tone to "Going to the chapel, and I'm gonna get mar-a-aried..."

Let us rejoice and be glad and give him glory! For the wedding of the Lamb has come, and his bride has made herself ready. Revelation 19:7

It's Much Happier to Be Happy

thisheather@gmail.com (Heather Gemmen Wilson) — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 18:10:00 +0000

The first thing I did when I got the frantic call, "Come quick! Your husband got hit by a car on his bike!" was to write a facebook status update. Well, not the first thing. First I grabbed my keys and my phone, and drove the one mile in about 3 seconds flat ... and then watched helplessly as the medics lifted him into the ambulance. That's when I used my blackberry to tell everyone I knew to pray.

The good news is that Larry didn't have any internal injuries. (Plus he hadn't been hit by a car.) The bad news is that he had several broken bones and would be in pain for about six weeks.

I continued the facebook updates from the hospital room for the next several days, and everyone was so gracious; but I realized how quickly I went from caring for others to caring for us. My mind was entirely preoccupied with helping Larry, managing the kids, and surviving on minimal sleep myself.

When in a crisis, we should take care of self, of course. We're not much good to anyone if we're not well, so getting better is our number-one responsibility. During our few weeks of difficulty after Larry's fall, we had meals delivered to us, cards sent, words of encouragement given constantly—and it was all wonderful.

But we don't need that kind of care anymore, and I'm glad. My world became much smaller when it was all about me (or in this case, us). Once I could turn my focus towards others again, I was much happier.

I know a few broken bones is nothing compared to what some people are facing right now. If you're in a crisis, you have all my compassion. But let the analogy work for you. If you're in a crisis—whether it's a medical issue, a relationship problem, an addiction, too much work to do, spiritual unrest—look for the light at the end of the tunnel, and head toward it! Be intentional about making things better, and ask others to help you. Take steps toward healing. This is your happiness at stake. Fight for it!

It'll be worth it. Because as soon as you can take care of others again, it'll feel like 70 degree weather in November. Even better.

Note: Some people are in perpetual crisis by no choice of their own. May the Lord bless you with an extra measure of perseverance.

The Good Life--for All

thisheather@gmail.com (Heather Gemmen Wilson) — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 12:35:00 +0000

When I go out for dinner, I almost always forget to quit eating the free appetizers before I’m too full for the meal. Chips and salsa. Buttery dinner rolls. Endless French fries. How do you say no to that? Good thing I’m not quite elegant enough to refuse a takeout box.

The problem comes when I step out of the restaurant and realize my car is the opposite direction as the movie theater. Do I ask my poor husband to walk all the way back to the car or do I endure the inconvenience of carrying around the Styrofoam box?

All these troublesome little problems melted away one night when we went to see the movie Taken, a story that, in all its Hollywood glory, revealed the dark world of human trafficking. My paradigm shifted. I had known of prostitution, of course, and even at some level knew the women were in danger; but I hadn’t opened my eyes to their desperate situation.

After watching Taken, I knew I had to find out more. Does this really happen today?

Click HERE to read the rest of the story.

Good Grammar

thisheather@gmail.com (Heather Gemmen Wilson) — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 23:00:00 +0000

I spent most of my weekend scanning through Webster's dictionary, trying to determine whether to insert or delete hyphens and spaces in words like pickup, facedown, and anymore, whether to use I or me, who or whom, lie or lay. Important stuff like that.

When I think about Dawn coming up her to last chemotherapy treatment, or Brian and Amy going to visit their 7 month baby who has never been out of the hospital, or Cindy mourning the death of her dear husband Larry who was one of the great men of God—the tiny little details that I have to concern myself with frankly feel inane.* Who cares whether someone says, "There are two things we know..." or "We know two things...."

And yet I want to get it right. It matters to me that the minute details are perfect, even as I realize they are not nearly so important as looking up from my work to laugh at my kids' jokes or to adjust a pillow for my injured husband or to send out an announcement to the church or to pray on behalf of trafficked victims around the world. I always go back to my tedious work though, and can't bear to send a manuscript to the publisher until I'm sure I've covered everything--even though I'm sure most people who read the book will not know or care whether it's grammatically correct.

Maybe I care about the details because in my heart of hearts, I know details matter.

It reminds me of the dream I had recently. I was praying for the continents of the world by editing html code. I was seeing each bracket that fit into another bracket that fit into another bracket, etc. The code was massive and impossible to edit alone, but I knew I had to get the code I was editing to be perfect because if even one bracket was left off, the whole thing would be distorted. I had to care about the tiny details so that the site as a whole would work.

I suppose that's why I'm good at my job. I look at the macro and the micro simultaneously. I see how one affects the other. The problem comes when I focus too much on one or the other. Looking only at the hyphens makes me forget why my work even matters; forgetting the small things makes my work sloppy and ineffective.

I need to remember this balance in every area of life. I need to see individuals and the world, my church and the Church, tedious tasks and my higher purpose.

Okay, I can go back to my editing now. I remember why I'm doing it. Thanks for letting me think out loud.

* I don't usually copy edit anymore, so maybe that's why I'm feeling reflective about this. More often I do macro editing. Macro editing looks at the big picture--judging readability, logic, structure, theology, content, etc. Copy editing is revising sentences to improve ease of reading. (Proofreading is fixing commas, capitalization, etc.)

No More Pizza Please

thisheather@gmail.com (Heather Gemmen Wilson) — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 00:40:00 +0000

I couldn't believe I said it. I was the guest speaker at a mega church, and I made a mega misspeak. I was telling the story of how my husband and I met at a writer’s conference: "He was a publisher looking for an author,” I said. “Let me tell you, he found one—and he did a whole lot more than publish me." The audience burst out laughing, and I blushed. Yikes! I didn't mean for it to sound like that!

The show must go on, of course, so I continued my talk and led them from that humorous moment to a poignant awareness of God’s grace. As soon as I got to the privacy of backstage, however, I put my hands over my face and laughed at myself.

Only to discover I hadn't turned off my microphone.

The sound guy came running over and yanked the mic from my ear and the pastor gave the crowd a moment to laugh again at my second blunder.

Yes, some days are like that. Some days we just dig ourselves deeper and deeper.

Here’s the good news: The spiral effect can go the other way too. When we start doing things right, they keep getting better...

To read the rest of the post, please go to (in)courage.

Be Still

thisheather@gmail.com (Heather Gemmen Wilson) — Sat, 19 Sep 2009 14:00:00 +0000

I've been having a revival. Not because I've joined a huge crowd inside a hot tent where we shouted out the name of Je-sus! (Though I have to admit I'd probably do that right now if someone invited me.) I've become intimately aware of God again by attending, of all things, a training.

Last weekend I went to the Hands of Hope training at The Wesleyan Church headquarters on how to identify and care for human trafficking victims. (The process of getting me to that event is a story in itself that reveals God's leading.) The presence of God was evident every moment of the training. (Which makes sense. Here were a group of people who were giving their sacrifice of praise by defending the weak. See what God says about that.)

But the real impact for me came after the event.

When I was driving home from the training, I started to think of the many stories I had heard. I know just a few trafficking victims personally, and that was tough enough; but suddenly I was overwhelmed with compassion for all the people I didn't know who were trapped right now, feeling hopeless and alone and scared. I wanted to save them all. I wanted to rush back to the training and to rally everyone together to take immediate action!

The logical side of me knew I couldn't do that, but the feeling wouldn't go away. And I began to wonder if we really can make any difference at all. The crime of trafficking is too big, too rampant, too organized, too desperate.

As the tears of compassion and frustration mingled, I suddenly became aware of a verse that I've known for years but had never known so beautifully: "Be still and know that I am God."

A message straight from God to me. I instantly calmed down, in awe. God sees those people I was praying for; he knows them by name. He knows the most deeply entrenched trafficker by name too. He is God. I can be still and wait for him to lead me to my next step.

I don't deserve to beg at the foot of the cross, and yet God is using me to do his work. I am a broken, sinful person, and yet I am entirely restored by the touch of God. I am free! I get to join with others to bring a radical change to our world, to free those in captivity, to overthrow the agents of darkness, to bring hope and beauty to our world. I am an abolitionist!

I started laughing. (Yes, I know I sound like a freak. I felt like I was an emotional teenager again.) With the profound knowledge of these two things, I had to laugh: I love this God who is so good and just. And he loves me.

Now, that's revival!

Pretty Things

thisheather@gmail.com (Heather Gemmen Wilson) — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 04:04:00 +0000

I bought some pretty things today.

I'm not a big spender—I'm Dutch, don't forget—so to get so much all at once is rather exciting. Making things look good is fun! I remember once when I finished decorating a bathroom, I would find myself standing outside the door staring in dreamily. I like pretty things. Is that bad?

The reason I even question that is because I'm not just a girl-girl. I'm also a person who is passionate about social justice, about defending the weak, about seeking first the kingdom of God.

How do I reconcile my love of homemaking with my passion for impacting the world? How do I delight in loveliness when there is so much suffering?

I don't have any answers.

I suppose living in conflict is not a bad thing. Not comfortable, but probably healthy. God loves beauty too, and one of his dominant characteristics is his compassionate for the weak. If he does both, I can strive for that too.

~~

In case you're interested, here are the pretty things I bought:

This lovely dining set was chosen by Larry and me as our 4-year anniversary present to ourselves. Believe it or not, my manly man wanted this too; last year we bought silverware, and he wanted that too. (No wonder I'm so madly in love with him.) Each year we purchase something to build up our home. We like being home together.

This fun set I've only just begun to collect, beginning with the pitcher. (Isn't it cute?! Click on the pitcher to see the rest of the set.) I get a little bit each month--paying only shipping because I'm a writer for DaySpring's blog (in)Courage. (Gotta love it when hobbies pay off.) And I can't wait to invite over some girlfriends to enjoy it with me.

This metal wall hanging reminds us of our trip (last fall!) to upper state New York. We picked up Larry's daughter Lydia and took her to Vermont with us. The fall colors were gorgeous as we drove through the mountains, and we just didn't have time to do any shopping to find a keepsake. (We like to buy something every time we travel together...and slowly collect meaningful treasures.) I've been keeping my eyes open for something pretty all this time, and finally found it.

This wall hanging reminds us of our trip last month to Celebrate Church in Sioux Falls, Iowa. We couldn't find just the right thing on that trip either, but knew we wanted something that was beautiful, mysterious, simple, and powerful all at once ... because that was how we experienced Celebrate Church. (The caption on this picture is "Celebration" by the way, and I got it free from DaySpring too :) We don't want to forget our encounter with God there as he worked through the Church.

A Year From Today

thisheather@gmail.com (Heather Gemmen Wilson) — Thu, 27 Aug 2009 11:40:00 +0000

My divorce lawyer’s last name was Makepeace.

Really.

In Mr. Makepeace’s office, my soon-to-be ex-husband and I divvied up our property and worked out child custody plans—moving closer to separation, not peace. Once, when my husband stepped out of the room, I could not hold in the sorrow. My denial failed and became a messy display of tears and snot and hiccups. The harder I tried to pull myself together, the more I fell apart. Makepeace sat back in his chair and waited. I apologized, but he brushed it off with a wave of his hand.

Have you been there—so traumatized you can’t even function? Are you there now? I’m sorry. It’s lousy. I hate to even think back to that memory, let alone talk about it. But I will in case you don’t have a Makepeace in your life to say what you need to hear...

This post is published at (In)courage. Click here to read more.

Belly Up

thisheather@gmail.com (Heather Gemmen Wilson) — Sat, 15 Aug 2009 14:37:00 +0000

All day long a lovely little hummingbird flits back forth from a simple feeder filled with sugar water. I can see him from where work at my desk—and every time I do, I smile.

I was studying a book on spiritual disciplines this summer with some women from my church, and one of the topics was hospitality. The author encouraged us to see this ministry not as a way to showcase our great entertaining skills, but to make others feel welcome and safe. He suggested that if welcoming people was too hard, to give it a try with animals.

I laughed at first—but then I thought of my hummingbird friend. And my cat. And all the animals I have welcomed to my home over the years. Providing for their needs does nothing to fill my ego; rather, seeing them lounge in my good will fills my heart with joy. I like making creatures feel happy and safe. (You should see my cat sleep—sprawled out on his back with his neck exposed, not a care in the world.)

I want to be that kind of person with humans too. Whether in my home or at church or in the grocery story or on twitter, I want to make people feel happy and to know they are safe. When they're with me, I want them to know they belong.

Why? Because that's what God does for me. You think my cat looks crazy with his belly exposed? That's what I look like in God's presence. There's no better place to be.

Friends and Strangers

thisheather@gmail.com (Heather Gemmen Wilson) — Sat, 08 Aug 2009 10:00:00 +0000

I think we need a new dictionary to describe relationships.

Are people from my church considered friends or family? And does that go for people just in my local church, or the church universal? Are the people I meet online and engage frequently in meaningful conversation friends or strangers? Are the people I considered my best friends 20 or 30 years ago still my friends today even if I hardly or never talk to them?

I'm connecting with two new communities this weekend, and even though they are probably strangers in the strict sense of the word, I feel close to them. Is that normal?

The first community is Celebrate Church in Sioux Falls, SD. I'll be sharing an intimate story with this congregation on Saturday night and Sunday morning, and I've been praying for them long before I was to meet them. I did meet the pastor, Keith Loy, in person last year. We were at a church conference, and while his kids joyfully ran all over the resort, we enjoyed dinner together with our spouses. It was awesome to hear his testimony of growing a tiny church to 3000 people, and it was clear his message of love was matched only by his actions of love. If his people are anything like their pastor, I know we'll bond.

The second community is a group of women who love to blog. On Monday this exciting new project called (in)Courage will launch; and those of us who have been invited by DaySpring to participate have been emailing and twittering and chatting on forums for several months in preparation for this exciting event. Without meeting any of them (except Holley Gerth, the Big Cheese of the whole operation), I already have a great sense of connection with them. They are good, thoughtful, funny, lovely people—and admittedly a bit zany.

You may have landed on my blog because Ginny Martyn introduced you to me. I've been reading her blog and have had my thoughts stimulated time and time again because of her willingness to articulate deep concepts. Plus, she called me a triple threat. She's my friend forever now. :)

Another new friend from this group is Robin Dance. I knew her first because we have many mutual friends (there's that word again) on Twitter. I was led to her blog because of (in)Courage, and am delighted to discover that she's not only good with 140 characters—that girl can conjure up gorgeous images when she frees herself to use 140+ sentences. (I'm a sucker for word pictures!)

So is it normal to call these people friends?

I think so. I think we've entered a new era where "small world" takes on new meaning. We can connect on a deep level with folks we meet around the world without neglecting our next-door neighbor. Treasuring old friends and near friends, new friends and virtual friends enriches our lives. How does that old ditty go? "Make new friends, but keep the old. One is silver and the other gold."

I hope you'll connect with your church family tomorrow—and surf the net.

Rejection

thisheather@gmail.com (Heather Gemmen Wilson) — Wed, 05 Aug 2009 22:17:00 +0000

Never trust a youth pastor. Mine invited me to come on the youth missions trip, promising me I would have fun. Sleeping on an air mattress in a hot church basement five nights in a row didn't exactly sound fun; but since three of my own teens were signed up to go, I thought I should do my part. Besides, my suffering for Jesus lately had been grabbing a Chai Tea Latte at Starbucks with friends from church. (Gotta love friendship ministry.) It was time to do a little more.

The first day I was assigned to teach ten 5-year-olds. Sounds as sweet as Chai tea, right? Wrong. It was so crazy the woman on staff left after an hour. "I just have to," she said. The kids were out of control.

I'm used to being loved by kids. Larry says that wherever Heather goes, kids follow. Maybe it's because I'm such a spectacle. (With a malformed arm and missing digits on my right hand, due to a car accident, kids usually love to get into long, theological conversations about the marvel of being able to pick up a pencil with two fingers.) But I think it's really because I love them so much, and they know it.

These kids, however, knocked the confidence out of me. They didn't like me. One boy kept looking at me as if I were something you find at the bottom of a toilet, saying, "Disgusting. Disgusting." Another one ran screaming out of the classroom every time I approached, terrified I would touch her. (I considered threatening to touch them if they didn't behave, but I refrained.)

It wasn't "fun."

The next morning I read about Moses who was overwhelmed by God's call to him to save the Israelites—and how he did it anyway. It was enough to get me going. God would equip me to care for these kids. Besides, it wasn't about how much the kids loved me; it was about giving glory to God.

When we arrived, a little boy named Mikael walked over to me. "I'm not afraid of your hand," he said. "I'll be your friend." He held my hand all day, and bit by bit the other kids became less afraid of me. And they began to listen. And we sang songs and played games and wrote words and read books. Soon, they clamored to hold both my hands.

It felt good to be accepted again, but that's not what gave me so much joy. I saw hope for these kids, and I knew God would raise up leaders in this heart-breaking community to bring restoration—beginning with Mikael. And I told him that. "You are a great person, Mikael. You saw a need, and you helped. Keep doing the right thing, no matter how much pressure you feel to do the wrong thing, and God will use you in a powerful way."

He smiled. "I helped you," he said, "and you helped me."

I guess that's how God works. Thank goodness the youth pastor tricked me.

Is Blogging for Me?

thisheather@gmail.com (Heather Gemmen Wilson) — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 01:17:00 +0000

I have no idea whether or not to blog. I certainly haven't taken it seriously yet. Does there really need to be another blog out there? So many people have so many good things to say already, and one more blog seems rather pointless. Besides, I have so much to do already, making time to write MORE than I'm already writing might keep me from doing more productive things.

And yet....

Well, for now I'll stick with my microblog: @heatherwilson.

Have You Heard of the Proverbs 32 Woman?

thisheather@gmail.com (Heather Gemmen Wilson) — Sat, 11 Jul 2009 17:09:00 +0000

A certain chapter of the Bible has been read and studied so frequently at women’s events around the world that the character who emerges from these pages is known by everyone as the Proverbs 31 woman, a wife who is worth more than rubies: She loves her work and is busy from the wee hours of the morning until late at night, she provides for her family with beauty and abundance, she has people who work for her, she is business savvy and profitable, she is physically strong, she generously cares for the poor, she is married to a leader, she has dignity and peace, she is wise and loved, and she fears the Lord. What a woman!

What a woman? What a person! It’s not just women who can learn from her. All of us could hold her up as a model, though I suppose many of us would quickly turn the page when comparing ourselves to her, hoping to find a Proverbs 32 woman who is not quite so intimidating.

Perhaps it would go something like this:

She is not a bad person, better than nothing.
Her husband doesn’t have many complaints about her
because he pretty much gets what he needs.
She brings trouble on him only some of the time.
She selects decent TV shows
and starts her work when he complains.
She is like a pizza delivery guy,
bringing food when she has to.
She gets up well before noon;
she doesn’t leave the fridge empty for more than a few days
and almost always pays her bills.
She surfs the Internet and buys lots of clothes at great discounts;
with her credit she grows a healthy debt.
She sets about her socializing vigorously;
her facebook is strong (with about 600 friends).
She sees that her lounging is perfected,
and her TV does not go out at night.
In her hand she holds the remote
and grasps the mouse with her fingers.
She opens her arms to people who give her attention
and extends her hands to wealthy people who might help her out someday.
When it snows, she yells at her husband to start shoveling;
for he’s the only one out of bed.
She makes a lap tray for her bed;
she is clothed in flannel pajamas that need to be washed.
Her husband is out hunting as often as he can,
so he can get away from the chaos.
She has garage sales and sells junk,
and supplies the neighbors with broken knickknacks.
She is clothed with wit and arrogance;
she makes wisecracks about the days to come.
She speaks as a know-it-all,
and constant instruction is on her tongue.
She watches over the affairs of other people’s households
and eats up the all the juicy gossip.
Her children arise and roll their eyes at her;
her husband also, and he uses sarcasm against her:
“Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but she spends thousands on plastic surgery.
Give her the reward she has earned,
and let her works give them something to talk about at the city gate.

Having high expectations of ourselves may be intimidating, but it sure beats having low expectations. I’m glad that God doesn’t think our being like the Proverbs 31 woman is out of reach. He wants the best for us, and he’s made it possible for us to achieve that.

Writing Bloopers (or Why Authors Need Editors):

thisheather@gmail.com (Heather Gemmen Wilson) — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 00:11:00 +0000

Here are just a few examples of errors I've come across as I edit books:

1. "I used to get all those states in the Mid East mixed up. I couldn't tell the difference between Indiana and Illinois."

2. "A leopard can't change its stripes."

3. "I once thought condoms were dreadful; now I live in one and wouldn't go back to a house."

4. "...it all started when Martin Luther King Jr. nailed the 95 Theses to the door."

5. "The best thing about the mountains in Colorado is that they tell me which way is East."

6. "I prefer intinction for Communion, mostly because people get squeamish about sharing from a common cup."

7. "I smell a fishy rat."

8. [Note to Editor: Where's the verse that says "God helps those who help themselves"?]

9. "It was completely fatal."

10. Naming the villain, a white supremacist, Les White.

I'm Not a Lazy Sloth ... All the Time

thisheather@gmail.com (Heather Gemmen Wilson) — Thu, 28 May 2009 01:45:00 +0000

I'm a person who does things.

I have to say that to myself when I'm sitting in my PJs at 3 in the afternoon staring at a manuscript on my computer. Maybe if I say it often enough to myself, I'll get dressed ... and get a life.

Words have power.

Larry and I almost didn't go for a bike ride on a fantastic trail on a gorgeous day because it would have been a bother to load up the bikes. "But remember, we're people who do things," we said, and the bikes were loaded in about 10 minutes. We hardly wanted to quit even after 20 miles of hard riding, it was so much fun.

I almost didn't arrange a women's book study this summer at church because it would be tough to figure out child care. "But I'm a person who does things," I said, and now 20 other women are meeting with me to be spiritually challenged and invigorated.

I almost didn't go get a free back massage, pedicure, and manicure tonight (invited along with other bloggers to this lovely event due to my twittering!) because it would be a 40 minute drive, and my book was interesting. I had to tell myself a few times that I'm a person who does things, but I finally listened. And good things happen in a spa with a bunch of women who like words. (More on that later.)

It's easy to be lazy. It's much more fun to engage life.

WHAM

thisheather@gmail.com (Heather Gemmen Wilson) — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 17:38:00 +0000

Larry recently preached a sermon in which he said something like:

During Pentecost, the gift of tongues was not so that the disciples could have a spiritual high; it was given to them so they could communicate with the thousands of people from all over the world who were in the city that day. It was like the disciples were saying, "If only we could talk to them" and WHAM, they had the gift of tongues. That's what the Holy Spirit does now, too. If we need something that's out of our reach in order to do ministry, God will provide it.

The same week Larry preached that sermon, he and I were saying, "If only we lived in Fishers so we could connect better with folks in that community," and WHAM, we got a random phone call from someone who remembered we had our house for sale last year; she wanted to know if we were still interested in selling.

The poor economy—and even our lack of granite countertops—is not too great an obstacle for God. If he needs us in Fishers, it'll all work out. Best of all, if God has really chosen us for this great responsibility (as it seems he has), I'm confident he'll equip us for every step along the way.

What do you need to be effective in ministry? Don't be afraid to ask God for it.

PS The potential buyer is viewing our house on Friday. Please join us in praying that our house will be a perfect fit for this family.

Important Discoveries

thisheather@gmail.com (Heather Gemmen Wilson) — Thu, 29 Jan 2009 04:26:00 +0000

Part 1: When I soften my facial expression, I actually feel happier.
Part 2: Most people don't get irony. Incidentally, many of my jokes are misunderstood.
Part 3: Telling jokes that other people don't get is still fun.
Part 4: When I put less soap in my dishwasher, the dishes get cleaner.
Part 5: People pay closer attention when I whisper than when I yell.
Part 6: If my son calls my web page butter, that's a good thing.
Part 7: Not everyone likes to be the center of attention. I know. Isn't that weird?
Part 8: If I quit thinking about whether I want to do something and just do it, it gets done.
Part 9: Alice Cooper is not a girl.
Part 10: When I don't get my way, everything turns out fine anyway.

Church Is Not a Social Club

thisheather@gmail.com (Heather Gemmen Wilson) — Sun, 25 Jan 2009 23:32:00 +0000

I once was part of a church where one of my good friend wasn't allowed to play on the church softball team (which competed against other churches in the league) because she wasn't a member. Ironically, she was gladly welcomed to teach Sunday school each week, shaping the lives of the members' children.

Given the sometimes arbitrary ways rules are applied, does church membership make any sense at all?

I posed this question on Twitter and Facebook, and heard strong opinions on both sides.

Here are some of the reasons (all of which I agree with) why people support membership:

It encourages commitment, investment, and ownership
It is a public pronouncement that benefits others
It creates a strong sense of belonging
It is mutually beneficial (for members and the church)
It is a formal acknowledgement that you can't be a Christian alone
It forces you to consider carefully before leaving

Here are some of the reasons why people opposed membership:

"I feel at home at my church, but I sometimes wonder if I'm not considered as important as the members."
"It seems to discourage independent thought."
"It's only a formality, so not necessary."
"I don't want to join a social club."
"The pressure from church leaders to join was off-putting."
"I once thought I was saved just because I was a member. I didn't know there was more to it."
"It divides churches and denominations."

As for me, I'm an optimist. I think it's possible to enjoy all the pros of church membership while avoiding the cons.

I believe we can truly value all people, whether or not they are members ... or even attendees.
I believe we can probe spiritual issues deeply even as we hold to basic tenets of the faith.
I believe the formality of membership can have great significance in people's lives.
I believe membership creates a sense of belonging to a community that is much deeper than companionship.
I believe church leaders can affirm people by inviting them to membership without using pressure.
I believe truth can be communicated about the difference between membership and faith.
I believe churches and denominations can work together even more effectively if they have a strong sense of identity based on who they are in Christ.

In the interest of full disclosure, I must say that I've been a part of the church all my life. I was baptized as an infant, made profession of faith as a young teen, and have been a church member ever since. I have served on church boards and am now married to the pastor-elect of my own local church. I may be a bit biased.

The church is intended to be a community that gathers to worship God, encourages each other in the faith, and invites others to experience God and his people. All should be welcome and valued in this place, whether they are long-term leaders or first-time visitors. If membership is introduced in such a way that it hurts others, it has lost its true purpose.

Whether we like it or not, the church is a human organization, and we need the structure that membership provides. Don't get me wrong; the church is not a social club, as if our whole purpose is to meet new people who have similar morals. Jesus himself created the church. I will not minimize it. Even so, it is run by people like you and me, and without clear guidelines, we will not have order. How can we call people to account if we have not agreed on what we believe? How can we select leaders if we don't know whether they adhere to any set of principles? Truth is not relative, and scripture is not easily interpreted.

Membership should be offered to people who would like to make a personal and public declaration of commitment to their local body and who would like to become leaders in their church. However, church leaders should be wary of pressuring others to make this step, and they should be intentional about avoiding the potential pitfalls that are sometimes associated with membership.

Regardless of how many mistakes the church makes, I am in love with this institution, and it has my undying commitment. It is because of the church that I know Christ and his love.