Things I Don't Do Anymore

pt. 1: Stick my finger in the cigarette lighter to see if it's hot.

pt 2: Wish to be older. Or younger.

pt. 3: Call the radio host by the wrong name throughout the entire interview.

pt. 4: Say, "That's water over the bridge," when I mean "under."

pt. 5: Put two spaces between sentences.

pt. 6: Pronounce Rush Limbaugh's name wrong.

pt. 7: Get a mullett haircut.

pt. 8: Get stressed about waiting.

pt. 9: Think the lyrics for "Lead on, oh King Eternal" are "Lead on, oh kinky turtle."

pt 10: Try to get my way. (I'm usually wrong anyway.)