Step Two

Okay, I admit it. I was bawling before he even kissed the bride. I was watching my gorgeous son who was so grown up standing there waiting for the love of his life, and the anticipation on his face was almost tangible. He was right where he wanted to be. My tears were only partly for myself, for my loss—they were mostly tears of joy for Antoine and for Lauren, who are so beautiful together. The old cliche is true: I haven't lost a son, I've gained a daughter.

The day started off pretty rough, though. Besides waking up to rain (which we hadn't had for weeks) and the stress of anticipating how the evening would go, I got a phone call from Antoine about four hours before the wedding telling me he had just gotten in an accident. I was there in three minutes and found Antoine crying at the side of the road with his new car totaled. Praise God that he walked away without a scratch.

Antoine is blessed with lots of mothers in his life ... and we were all there together at his wedding. There was me, his birth mom, his step-mom, his foster mom, and his mother-in-law all fussing over him. But the most important mother in his life is the soon-to-be mother of his children: Lauren. I couldn't be more pleased to hand him over to someone as precious as she.

Step One

Do you remember your first car? Mine was a 198-something Nissan Sentra that I spray-painted black with yellow letters on the side spelling "Shelley"—which was her name. She was originally my mom's car, but I somehow commandeered her and then had her commandeered away from me by all my high school buddies. Soon, I left the keys in the car so anyone could take her out whenever they needed her.

My son, however, better not do the same with the car we just bought for him. It's gorgeous: a cherry red 2001 Dodge Intrepid with an immaculate interior: his wedding present. And he's gonna need it.

It was fun, car shopping. I was a bit intimated by the prospect of finding something that was halfway decent at the amount we were willing to pay, but it turned out to be a fun day of connection for Twon and I ... with a fabulous result. We got a much better deal than I believed possible and, even better, a wonderful memory of one of our last days together.

Stay tuned for Friday's note when my little boy will be taking a much bigger step than getting his first car...

Commencement

This was a crazy weekend, simultaneously pulling us into the land of nostalgia and propelling us forward into a world of change.

Friday night we reminisced about Mom and Dad's beginning. It was a classy, romantic evening that provided a temporary reprieve from the troubles of today.

Saturday afternoon we had an open house for Larry's son Uriah who is graduating from high school. It was a fun time with lots of food, friends, and family, and we certainly enjoyed the moments at hand.

Today we went to his commencement ... and the realization of what lay ahead hit us. The oldest kid in our little family is moving on and things will never be the same.

I suppose life is always full of Memories and Anticipation all mixed up together in Today, but this weekend made that truth all the more obvious to us.

We love you, Uriah! Congratulations!

Lessons from Laser Tag

Dena says I'm a cheater, but that's just because I beat her. We went out to play laser tag late last night, and it turned out that just we three girls (my step daughter Lydia, my sister-in-law Dena, and I) were interested in playing at that time of night—so we were pitted against each other. It was a blast.

Here are the few lessons I learned:

1. It pays to try new things. We were actually on our way to the movies when Lydia suggested we go play laser tag instead. I felt slightly intimidated by the idea, but figured that the worst that could happen is that I lose. Turns out I won; and even if I hadn't, it was way more fun than the movies.

2. The process is more important than the result. Honestly, I don't care about winning games; usually I prefer to lose so the other person won't feel bad. But when I play against competitive people, like Dena, I work up my competitive drive so that the process will be more enjoyable for them. The risk in trying hard, of course, is that you might win. It's a risk I'm willing to take.

3. Ignorance is bliss. Perhaps I was cheating, but I still don't know how. (Well, except for the time I grabbed Lydia's gun that she was blasting at me when I couldn't shoot back. But Dena didn't see that.) As far as I know, I was the sneakiest, fastest, best aimer of the entire group of people in that warehouse (out of all three of us ... for at least one of the three games) — and I don't want to know if that's not accurate.

4. Family rocks. I love Dena. I love Lydia. They're some of my favorite people to hang out with. And I know they'll always love me too, even if I wup them.

50 Years

On the way to his parent's 50th Annivesary party tonight, Larry said, "Gosh, 50 years is a long time." I hit him, naturally. We've been married only a year and a half ... he can't be getting tired already.

Really, though, he's right. What a remarkable thing for two people to be so happy together after 50 years of life's ups and downs. And Mom and Dad are clearly happy. Mom laughed when I told her the other day that Larry and I had just spent 7 days traveling together, never out of each others' sight, and we're still not sick of each other. "You're just like Daddy and me," she said.

If we're like her and Daddy, then 50 years are going to go by much too quick.